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The comprehensive case against Cardi B for Congress

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Cardi B might run for Congress. Yes, seriously.

The stripper-turned-celebrity rap star has caught the internet’s attention numerous times with her sometimes hilarious, sometimes bizarre political commentary. But now she’s getting serious: Cardi B tweeted this week, “I think I want to be a politician,” and said, “I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Government.” She continued, “I do feel like if I go back to school and focus up I can be part of Congress. I deadass have sooo much ideas that make sense.”

I think I want to be a politician.I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Goverment

— iamcardib (@iamcardib)
January 12, 2020

I do feel like if I go back to school and focus up I can be part of Congress.I deadass have sooo much ideas that make sense.I just need a couple of years of school and I can shake the table .

— iamcardib (@iamcardib)
January 13, 2020

It’s tempting to laugh Cardi B’s political musings off, but they’re actually worth taking somewhat seriously. After all, the rapper now has the support of 2020 front-runner Sen. Bernie Sanders, who she’s previously met with and praised. The Vermont Independent thinks “it would be great” if Cardi B ran for Congress, telling TMZ he wants her to get involved in politics. And, in an age when Donald Trump went from reality TV to the Oval Office, we can’t dismiss celebrities who announce their political ambitions.

So, it actually needs to be said: Cardi B would be a horrible congresswoman. She is utterly unqualified for the job, and her ideas are bizarre and incoherent.

Cardi B displayed the incoherence of her ideology the first time she went viral for her politics in an (admittedly hilarious) rant about the government wasting her tax money and how she wants “receipts” from the IRS. That part was fine, if not very serious. But then, Cardi B contradicted this stance by endorsing Sanders, whose socialist policies would undoubtedly result in skyrocketing taxes on her (and just about everyone else). It would also send more of our money to the same government bureaucrats who are wasting it now.

Cardi B is getting into tax policy now. She says she’s paying 40% of her income in taxes and wants to know where the money is going…”when you donate to a kid in a foreign country, they give you updates on what they’re doing with your donation….I want updates on my tax money.” pic.twitter.com/E1hITGNqee

— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar)
March 23, 2018

Cardi B also has “Trump Derangement Syndrome.” The rapper was, understandably, concerned by rising tensions between the United States and Iran after the killing of Iranian terrorist leader Gen. Qassem Soleimani. But Cardi B overreacted, putting out an almost incoherent tweet claiming she plans to apply for Nigerian citizenship. As my Washington Examiner colleague Madeline Fry noted, this means she actually considered moving to Nigeria, a “human rights wasteland” with rampant domestic violence and child marriage, all just to own President Trump.

Naaaaa these memes are fuckin 😅😅 😩but shit ain’t no joke ! Specially being from New York .Its sad this man is putting Americans live in danger.Dumbest move Trump did till date …I’m filing for my Nigerian citizenship.

— iamcardib (@iamcardib)
January 3, 2020

Cardi B also has no education or intellectual accomplishments of any kind, unless you count hit rap songs such as Clout, Bodak Yellow, and Money. I do not.

We should also probably talk about Cardi B’s propensity for violence. In 2018, she violently confronted fellow rapper Nicki Minaj in public and screamed at her. Cardi B then threw her shoe at Minaj after being unable to break past her bodyguards.

Cardi B also caught an assault charge for allegedly ordering an attack on two bartenders who dissed her.

“Cardi B ordered and committed violent assaults against my clients and is being called to justice for her crimes. Apparently, she thinks her celebrity status puts her above the law since she has bragged to multiple people and on social media that she orchestrated these vicious attacks,” the alleged victims’ attorney told People.

And Cardi B once bragged in an Instagram live video about how she “drugged and robbed men” in her past. In explanation, she argues that it was what she had to do to survive as an impoverished stripper.

Suffice it to say Cardi B does not have the requisite temperament to be in Congress. No matter how promising the prospect of a “Congresswoman Cardi” would be for meme-makers everywhere, her political ascendancy is actually no laughing matter.